Power and Desire
by Emerald Tide
Summary: He's starting to realize that maybe he was afraid to name that desire because it was fueling everything he lived for – that stupid, childish desire of which loneliness was the root – and not anything nearly as noble as what he deluded himself into believing. But it's too late now, because he can't turn back no matter what. Part 1 in prose, sort of. Sasuke-centric, SasuNaru-ish.


**First of all, this fic will not be SasuNaru. Despite what I've written in the summary, that's just because there's a lot of SN bond wank. (And I mean a lot.) Just as a warning. However, no actual romance, because the story sticks to the general plot-line of Part 1 (despite definitely not to the letter), all the way up to and including Sasuke's defection from Konoha. I think I might pander to all the pairings a bit, actually, even if I hate some of them.**

**Also, this won't be fully accurate, not at all – I might draw from the manga, the anime, or my memory alternately, or even… add heaps and heaps of fanon scenes that never happened lol (as you'll see most prominently in this first chapter). My purpose is not to write a perfectly accurate fanfiction. I'm not exactly sure what my exact purpose _is_, but I guess I just want to get down the essence of Sasuke's story, even if it means detailing long, painfully bad (when I write them) fight scenes just because I'm duty-bound not to skip them…**

**But yeah, anyway, hope you enjoy. Do not own this shit, it's all Kishimoto's. (… rather redundant, but it makes for a good closing sentence. Okay, I'll shut up now.)**

* * *

_begin._

* * *

_That night, everything ended._

_That night, a little boy, eight years old, begged and cried and pleaded for everything except the thing he really wanted the most, and ended up with nothing but a hollow soul. Because although he __didn't __know it at the time, although he __didn't __ever want to find out –_

_– __the thing he secretly desired more than anything, deep down in his heart where nobody could see, not even himself; the thing he wanted more than an explanation or the ability to turn back time or his family back; the thing that he lived and destroyed and __**died**__ for –_

_– __was __**power**__._

_But not that kind of power, not the kind he pretends it is. Listen to him and he'll tell you it's just the power to kill his brother, so he can avenge his clan. Bullshit. Don't believe him. His brother knows, himself, because he was helpless and struggling once too. Only once, but once is enough – that kind of pure desire is imprinted in your mind forever, and it changed his life too. Ask him instead._

_(Maybe you'd think it's pathetic. But they're not the only ones. You and me, we're like that too – except we just call everything by different names, because power and desire sound like evil words sometimes.)_

_So, anyway, the little boy – do you think he ever stood a chance of being saved? _

_That night, his world was destroyed. He built it back one day later, too small to fit reality inside and crumbling and filled with holes but just strong enough to keep him temporarily sane, with only his bare hands and his brother's words and his desire. It wasn't a very good idea, in retrospect. He was bound to fall. But you can't blame him, not really, because those were the only things he had left for himself –_

_– __well, besides the people around him. But they shouldn't matter anyway. He didn't want them badly enough. He was torn apart at the seams, and they weren't enough to save him. He left them behind, to seek what he desired most, to seek what we all desire most, and the only things he kept with him were a year of memories and the meager influence of another boy. But even that shouldn't be worth mentioning, right? Because none of it was __**enough**__ to keep him behind, to keep him happy, to keep him living the life he secretly wanted…_

_Did he stand a chance? Could he have stayed? Yes and no would both fit, I suppose. Yes and they failed, but they should have tried harder, too. No and they failed, but they shouldn't have tried, either. The end result is the same; you can't change the past. Actually, the boy in question knows that a bit too well. So maybe that's not the right thing to ask anymore. _

_Then, were those things ever enough to set him free?_

_Look at it like he would. Forget about the people he left behind, forget about the village he betrayed. Forget about their feelings. It's difficult, but if he could, you can. _

_Of course he wasn't happy, after all was done. Of course they weren't happy, after all was done. But was any of it ever enough to make it okay anyway, for __**him**__, in the end?_

* * *

The day after the massacre, Sasuke stares down at the clear water below the dock and wonders what exactly he's supposed to do now.

He doesn't cry, because he's already walked through the Uchiha compound once and he has no more tears left to shed. Instead, he grieves silently, drowning himself in his own misery and the fact that – somehow, for some reason – yesterday, his brother murdered every single member of their family except him and fled the village. His clan is gone, his life is gone, and his brother is gone most of all.

His world is gone.

_"__Hate me; curse me; despise me."_

He sits, simply breathing and thinking and doing nothing else, feeling the air soften the ridges of his lips as it moves slowly – _out, in, out, in, out_. Breathing is hard. Death is easy – easier.

Why is he still here?

Sasuke has never understood Itachi, and he's always known it. But now, when he thinks about Itachi's cool gaze and quiet smile and "as your brother, I will always be there for you" – had he never known Itachi at all? To test his power – who would do that kind of thing? There had to be more, there has to be more, and if he could find Itachi right now he wouldn't kill him (_I can't do that anyway_) or hate him (_everything's too blurry to hate_) but ask him – ask him _why_ because that can't be it.

_"__I pretended to be the brother you desired –"_

A sharp gasp escapes Sasuke's lips, and a wave of nausea rocks his small form. Memories, unbidden, resurface in his mind for the thousandth time: his mother tending to his wounds with a gentle smile, his father praising him for the first time… and Itachi, Itachi training with him and helping him until he started to grow distant from everyone and never really came back. _We were happy once, weren't we? Why did you have to betray us? Was it really worth it, for power?_

_Were we not good enough for you? Was _I_ not good enough for you?_

Sasuke can't make sense of it. All he can do is ask, but asking won't change what has happened.

He squeezes his eyes shut. _I was helpless. I couldn't do anything, and I still can't. If I'm this worthless when it matters… what am I living for? What's my purpose?_

_What _have _I lived for?_

Everything is too blurry to hate, or maybe not, because Itachi's face and Itachi's words are clear and that's enough.

_"__Foster your hatred and live, live in an unsightly manner… and when the time comes, when you have grown powerful enough, seek me out and destroy me for revenge."_

Death is easy, but right now, dying won't be.

The water below the dock is clear, and when Sasuke gazes into it, he feels as if he's staring into a mirror – he tosses a stone in, blurring away its beauty –

_I need to gain power so I can destroy Itachi and avenge my clan, because that's the only purpose I have left – it was always that purpose, even before, to gain power and surpass him, so – so I could –_

– and for a split second, when the water is still clearing, he sees Itachi in his reflection.

His heart throbs and shudders. He flinches back, but when the surface calms, he sees Sasuke once more and things are not so blurry.

_Itachi._

He grits his teeth, staring at his face in the water.

_I'll hate you, Itachi. I'll kill you and avenge my clan, no matter how deep I have to plunge myself into the darkness. No matter what I have to do._

_You'll be the only one in my world._

Sasuke is only eight years old, and his heart is heavy.

He dives into the lake.

* * *

A month passes before things change.

Sasuke has started attending the Academy once more, after the Hokage ordered a short break in the aftershock of the massacre. Although the students and teachers still buzz with gossip when he passes them in the halls and offer him pointless favors, the looks on their faces have died down somewhat from the abject shock and pity he saw a month ago. It's mostly due to his quiet behavior, which on the surface seems no different from what he was like before. Even his fangirls are acting normal again, albeit a bit tentatively. Sasuke mostly finds the attention from the girls annoying, but he has to admit he's a bit grateful; he doesn't want to deal with people feeling sorry for him.

He trains relentlessly. Not only does it help him get closer to Itachi, it also helps take his mind off things. Even after the Academy day has ended and the other students have gone home to rest, he spends his time outside the Uchiha compound trying to grow stronger; sometimes, if he trains hard enough in the day, he's too tired to have nightmares when he goes to sleep. Even so, he still makes time to go to the dock every day – he is only eight, after all, and he's still weak, and somehow, nothing reminds him of his goal better than the memory of the first time he ever proved his worth to his father.

The break from his routine starts like any other mundane Academy day, with Sasuke spacing out somewhere close to the back of the classroom five minutes before class. Students are milling about, chatting around him, and it is relatively peaceful until –

"UZUMAKI NARUTO!" Iruka's enraged voice, from outside the classroom, filters inside and makes the students freeze. There's a loud crash in the hallway, and Iruka storms in front of the entire class, dragging a kicking, yelling Naruto in tow and slamming the door behind him.

Sasuke sighs, turning away – it's only Uzumaki Naruto, resident attention-seeking, loudmouthed class clown, useless for anything except making the kids laugh at him and almost as annoying as the fangirls. Luckily, though, Naruto doesn't go out of his way to bother Sasuke, unlike the girls in his class. He's seen Naruto cast a resentful glance his way every once in a while, but they've never spoken and it's not like Naruto is the only one who's given him that kind of stare.

"Hey! Sensei! Let go of me!"

"Explain to me" – Sasuke has never heard Iruka this angry before, although he doesn't doubt Naruto has countless times – "exactly _what _you were doing with buckets of paint in the staff lounge!"

Naruto glares back, an old pair of child's goggles resting on his forehead. "Painting it. Couldn't you tell? The walls are all ugly and chipped, and they're the same color. Thought they needed a makeover – thought you were supposed to be smart, _Iruka-sensei_ –"

"It's enough that you vandalize shops and homes all over town, and the Hokage himself has to apologize for the messes of an eight-year-old. It's enough that sometimes, you even have the nerve to vandalize the _Hokage Mountain_. Now you're desecrating the inside of a place of learning? You should know better than that!"

"Place of learning, huh," Naruto grumbles darkly under his breath. "Looks like any other crap building to me."

Iruka groans, frustrated. "Naruto, why can't you behave for once?" His eyes roam the room quickly, once, and Sasuke glances at the duo because he knows what's coming next. "Why can't you be more like Sasuke? Smart, well-behaved, studious…"

"Sa… Sasuke?" Naruto blinks and glances around the room, frowning. He opens his mouth, perhaps to talk back to Iruka again, perhaps to insult the last remaining Uchiha because Naruto has no qualms with doing that sort of thing and he's probably so oblivious he doesn't even _know_, until –

Their eyes meet.

Naruto's mouth closes, any and all words seeming to die from his tongue. Sasuke stiffens.

_He's –_

Sasuke sees it in the other boy's eyes, even from halfway across the room, and he feels his heart involuntarily speed up until it beats into overdrive – because Naruto is –

– the first person he's seen who has the same soft, ragged, stifling glint in the eyes –

_– __the same as me._

Naruto's eyes are clouded with loneliness and misery and something else, a deep, dark desire that Sasuke has only seen in his own reflection when he looks at the mirror, something different from but somehow tied with his vow that he's too afraid to name. But no – not exactly _clouded _with it, not blurred over and dull with pain like his own, because –

_He's… almost… the same as me. _

– in the place of icy resignation, his eyes blaze impossibly bright with hope and an almost naïvely stubborn determination, somehow made _stronger _instead of weaker from the pain – and Sasuke's breath rushes out of his lungs because in those brilliant blue eyes, like the clear surface of a bottomless lake, he sees _fire_ and something in him shivers and wakes and comes to life.

Of all people, he thinks, he found that sort of gaze in the dead-last.

Abruptly, Naruto's eyes narrow, his stare becoming contemplative. Then, it sharpens into a glare. "Yeah, whatever," he mutters, turning away. "Just looks like a stupid prick to me."

"Naruto – !"

But somehow, Sasuke is almost relieved. Insults are safe, insults deny, because there is only supposed to be one person in his world anymore and it isn't the one with bright blue eyes. "You're hardly one to be talking about stupid pricks, dead-last," he drawls back coldly. Everyone in the class turns to look at him, surprised – he almost never spoke in class unless called on, both before and after the massacre. Vaguely, he notices that even Iruka is silent. But he doesn't care, because all he sees is Naruto's face flushing in fury.

"What the hell does that mean, asshole?"

"It means you're a fucking loser." The curse tastes bitter and crude on his tongue, as he's always been raised within the clan to be proper, but he shrugs it off in favor of riling Naruto up. "Can't even paint a couple of walls without getting busted by the teacher? What a competent ninja you are."

"Hey!" Naruto yells, looking truly offended – what a loser, indeed, Sasuke thinks, feeling strangely intrigued. "Don't call me that! At least I'm not a pretty-boy who can't do anything except sit there and play teacher's pet – I bet you don't have the guts to paint _shit_ 'cause you're too busy being _smart and studious and well-behaved_ –"

"Don't speak to Sasuke-kun like that!" A pink-haired girl shoots up out of her seat, her angry voice dragging Sasuke's attention away from Naruto. _What was her name again – oh, Haruno Sakura… wasn't it? _he thinks after a moment of recollection.

Naruto looks momentarily dumbfounded, and Sasuke doubts girls talk to him much. "Ah – ah, but –"

Iruka slams his hand on his desk.

Sakura's eyes widen, and her face goes red. "Oh… Iruka-sensei, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to cause any trouble! I-it's just that…"

Iruka sighs deeply, looking a bit annoyed. "It's alright, Sakura. Please sit down." Flustered, she bows quickly and obeys, casting a hesitant glance at Sasuke that goes ignored. "And you, Naruto. Get to your seat, I'll deal with you later."

"Who's gonna make me?"

"Get. To. Your. Seat." Iruka grinds out the order through gritted teeth.

"I said, who's gonna make me, huh?"

"_Get to your seat or I will drag you there myself._ I have no intention of postponing class anymore to deal with you."

"Whatever," Naruto murmurs, his expression shifting oddly. He walks past Iruka, heading to his seat in the back of the room, and for a second, his eyes flicker uncertainly to Sasuke.

Then, the uncertainty morphs into an obstinate scowl, and he sticks out his tongue at Sasuke and turns his eyes back; he reaches his seat and sits down in it, leaning forward. Iruka breathes a sigh of relief. "Finally," he says, and sits down in his own chair behind his desk.

The legs of the chair collapse, and Iruka lets out a yell as he falls. Suddenly, Sasuke notices a taut, long string connecting from the broken chair leg to the ceiling tile above Iruka. It moves, and when the tile opens, a full bucket of paint crashes onto Iruka's head and covers him in green.

There's a moment of horrified silence before all eyes in the room turn to Naruto.

He bursts out laughing, rubbing his small hands together in wicked glee. "That paint wasn't just for the walls. Awesome, right, Iruka-sensei?" he snickers.

Iruka, dripping with paint, storms up to Naruto's desk and grabs him by the collar. "NARUTO!" But Naruto continues to laugh, completely unaffected by Iruka's fury, and Sasuke feels something in his stomach clench.

_How can you laugh like nothing's wrong?_

Naruto feels the same thing that Sasuke feels, the same isolation and anguish – the worst agony of all. But somehow, Naruto can smile and laugh over something stupid and play pranks like nothing is wrong, while every day, Sasuke suffocates in thoughts of blood and death, in thoughts of Itachi and power and revenge.

_How can you have that kind of expression in your eyes and still laugh afterwards?_

A dark, twisting emotion is coiling its way around Sasuke's gut, and in his mind, the hue of Naruto's eyes is sharper than ever. He breathes in slowly. _What do I care? It doesn't matter. Naruto doesn't matter. _

_He's nothing. I barely know him. He's nothing._

He drowns out the world, drowns out Naruto's laughter and Iruka's anger and the students' bemusement; ignores the voice in his head telling him that maybe that's not so true anymore.

That day after school, he doesn't train. Instead, he goes to the dock for the first time in a month and just sits there, watching the clear blue surface of the water and thinking about Itachi until he forgets everything else and the sun begins to set and he has to go home.

* * *

When Sasuke arrives at school the next day, he joins the huge group of students gaping up at the building as he realizes that now the _inside_ of his "place of learning" is not the only place that Naruto has ever tried his hand at desecrating.

Overnight, Naruto has repainted the entire Academy structure. Where there was once a tall building, dull white with layers of mellow reddish-brown wooden roofing, every square inch is now a whirl of ghastly combinations of every color Sasuke can think of. Scrawled over the first layer of haphazardly colored paint are pictures of ramen, fishcake, Naruto making obscene gestures, and the like; and text calling out people Naruto doesn't like. On the highest rooftop, he's written, _BET YOU CAN'T CATCH ME UNTIL TOMORROW, SUCKERS._

Something on the messy expanse catches his eye, and when Sasuke looks at it, he sees a crudely drawn picture of himself picking his nose. Then another message, a few feet away – _UCHIHA SASUKE SMELLS_, splashed with a garish shade of orange, and suddenly he's at a complete loss as to how he's supposed to react to something this… _stupid_.

But –

_Can't even paint a couple of walls without getting busted by the teacher? What a competent ninja you are._

He's almost impressed.

_Almost._

But not really, because it's still too moronic for words.

The teachers, who've been scurrying around in pandemonium, finally collect themselves enough to tell the students that they can all go home and their parents will be notified when school starts again; meaning, for Sasuke, an impersonal note slipped into the mailbox outside the Uchiha compound. Apparently it's not just the outside of the building; the inside stinks of paint and will be distracting and unfit for an educational environment – or so they put it.

He supposes it's almost a good thing he doesn't have to go to the Academy; he's done with his homework, but it means he has time to train. With that, without sparing the building one more glance, he walks off.

* * *

The next day, when he goes grocery shopping, Naruto is just beginning to paint the Academy back to its original state; sternly standing around him are the ANBU that just caught him this morning.

A week after that, the Academy has been given a new, freshly dried coat of paint, and classes are in session again, and although their eyes do meet sometimes, and he doesn't ever really _look_ at Naruto again. And that's it.

* * *

That was supposed to be it, anyway. And it nearly was.

Naruto speaks to him, only once, another month or so after the paint thing. They happen to be sitting next to each other on that particular day, and Iruka has briefly left class to run errands. As Sasuke is doing homework with the other boy fidgeting beside him, Naruto finally murmurs softly, barely audible over the dull noise of the other students' chatter, "Hey… Sasuke."

Sasuke doesn't look up from the paper, nor does his writing slow; he simply waits for Naruto to continue. Naruto says nothing after that, though, and Sasuke doesn't really feel the need to fill the blank space between them with his own words.

Finally, after half a minute ticks by, Naruto speaks again, his voice still soft but now triumphant and bragging and nothing like his tone before – "You were wrong, jerk-ass. I painted the entire thing and I didn't get busted by the teacher."

"No," Sasuke says flatly, inexplicably annoyed, dark eyes finally snapping up from his paper to gaze at Naruto's. "You got busted by the ANBU instead. What an achievement."

"Not before the next day," Naruto protests. "That's what I wrote. That's what I _planned_, I _let_ them catch me –"

"Still got busted. Like I said, you can't do anything without getting in trouble for it. Ninja aren't supposed to be obvious like that, they're supposed to be stealthy. You painted your face all over the Academy. Not exactly the picture of a perfect ninja." He scoffs and looks back down at his paper, and his next statement is quieter but haughtier – because no matter how similar Naruto's eyes are to his, this will always be true, and he wonders only for a split second why he's bothering to say it to Naruto at all.

"You don't belong here, Uzumaki Naruto."

And he doesn't, not here or anywhere else. Because Naruto is a failure of a ninja, and there is only one person in Sasuke's world anymore.

_Now leave._

For one small, perfect second, Naruto freezes, and Sasuke hopes that they will never speak again. But the moment passes all too quickly, and Naruto jumps out of his seat in the middle of class, rage and shock and – _is that _fear_?_ – flashing in his eyes.

"What the hell!" Naruto splutters loudly, evidently completely forgetting where they are. Immediately, the talk dies down, and all eyes turn to them. "You – you _bastard_ –"

"Was any of what I said wrong?"

There's a tense silence as the entire class watches Naruto's reaction. His breath hitches, but to Sasuke's surprise, he sits down silently, glaring at a spot on the ground. Slowly but surely, the chatter starts up again, but someone glances their way every few seconds and Sasuke knows that they're talking about them now.

Sasuke was right about everything, and all Naruto can do is resort to insults and silence.

He wonders why that doesn't make him feel better.

Time passes in silence on their part. Eventually, Iruka comes back and starts the lesson again, unaware of what has happened, and Sasuke takes notes as usual. However, he's fully aware when Naruto's glare finally turns from the ground to him at the end of class, when they're about to leave.

This time, Sasuke speaks first. "What is it?" he asks coolly.

"Yeah."

"What?"

"You're wrong. And I'm gonna prove it – I can become a good ninja too." And Sasuke just rolls his eyes a little. _If it took you the entire class to come up with that sort of response, then I really was right._

"No, you won't." A typical response, because he doesn't need to waste any more effort; for the second time that day, he wonders why he's wasting any effort at all, until –

"Yeah, I will! I'm gonna show you! I'll show you all!" Naruto proclaims almost arrogantly, with the air of a prophet, and Sasuke steps back.

He's heard that sort of voice before.

_I'll show them. I'll prove myself to father and mother and Itachi and everyone, _but that's something he lost a long time ago, or is it?

_I'll be the best in the Academy and show them all that I can be as good as Itachi, and –_

And underneath Naruto's scowl, his eyes are _glowing_, and it reminds Sasuke of the time he still saw the world in colors.

* * *

And it nearly ends again, because Sasuke's busy training and Naruto's busy playing pranks on the villagers, and they both have bigger things in mind than each other at the time: Sasuke Itachi and Naruto the village. So the next time they meet, it's a long time later, in a fight… sort of.

They're sparring that day, with Iruka overseeing the matches and deciding the winner. Although they aren't being graded on anything – it's just to see how far each student has progressed – Iruka is keeping track of the wins and they're fighting in front of the entire class, which in itself causes nervousness and chatter amongst the students.

"Next up… Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke!" As soon as Sasuke's name is called, the girls in the crowd burst into cheers, calling for Sasuke to win.

A fully disgruntled Naruto jumps into the sparring ring, his face an odd mix of determination, fury, and cockiness. "I'm not gonna lose this one! I'll show you, let's do this, bastard!"

His words are too similar to before. Sasuke feels his flat expression morph into a scowl as he makes the combat symbol and shifts into a fighting stance. "What a moron. I'll take you down in one blow." And he means it. He knows that Naruto, despite his incompetence in ninjutsu or genjutsu, can successfully outrun and hide from ANBU. He can also desecrate an entire building in a night. But those abilities won't do him any good here; they're in a tiny space with no place to run or hide. He'll beat Naruto as quickly as possible, and then _he'll _show _Naruto_.

Iruka's reprimand snaps him out of his thoughts. "Stop it, the both of you!" His voice is sharp and angry, and Sasuke wryly remembers the time he and Naruto first met, when Iruka had used him as an example of a model student. "Naruto, make the symbol of combat! The ninja spar is a sacred tradition dating back to the founding of Konoha! Behave!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Naruto glowers and gets into the pose they were taught.

_I'll take you down in one blow._

_One blow – _

_One –_

His eyes widen, just slightly, as memories assault him once more, as they have countless times ever since the massacre.

_Itachi, standing over the three Uchiha shinobi he's defeated in one blow, angrier than Sasuke's ever seen him, and why…_

_"__The clan, the clan, the clan… it's all about the clan, about our honor, our pride. I'm sick of this pathetic clan. It's what's holding us back from reaching our true potential –"_

_Why, why, why hadn't he seen?_

He breathes in as quietly as possible, trying to ward off his sudden thoughts, but when his sight finally focuses, he doesn't see Naruto, another child, in front of him. Rather, he sees Itachi, with blazing red patterned eyes, and his stare unconsciously grows hard.

"Begin!" Iruka calls, and they rush forward, Sasuke's mind still swirling with thoughts of Itachi.

In a second, Sasuke has Naruto pinned down to the ground like a butterfly specimen, knocking the wind out of Naruto's lungs. His fist stops inches from the younger boy's face, preventing the second blow, and the illusion of Itachi's visage flickers in front of his eyes once more before disappearing and melting into the blue of Naruto's widened eyes.

_Fear._

Sasuke sees it again, the emotion that had flown across Naruto's face when he'd told Naruto that he didn't belong. It's a different sort of fear, though – icy, stunned, and harsh, where the other time it was dull, echoing dread. This time, it comes of naïveté; last time, it came of knowledge.

He wonders vaguely what sort of expression he himself must have on his face, while thinking of Itachi, to invoke that sort of reaction.

"Sasuke wins!" Iruka announces. Slowly, Sasuke gets up off of Naruto, his appearance calming back to its normal state. "Now, you two, make the symbol of harmony – link fingers and we'll move on to the next match."

Naruto scrambles up and flounders a bit, but as Sasuke begins to walk away without sparing him another glance, his bravado returns. "Hey!" he yells indignantly. "You don't even give a crap about any of this, do you, you piece of shit –"

"Naruto," Iruka growls. "Shut up. Like I said, this is sacred tradition. Now link fingers, dammit." Sasuke turns at the command and stretches out his arm at the same time as Naruto does; for a second, he almost does reach for Naruto's hand.

Then, their eyes meet, defiant for all the wrong reasons, and instead, they grab each other's shirt collars at the same time.

"Bastard!"

"Wanna go at it again, dead-last?"

"Enough!" Iruka pulls them apart angrily. Naruto stumbles back, and the students jeer and yell at him; he sends Sasuke one last dirty look before sticking his tongue out at the crowd and leaping over the fence, away from the Academy yard.

* * *

After school that day, as the sun is setting and Sasuke is sitting by the side of the dock, he feels someone walk by from above him.

It takes him a moment, but he realizes that it's Naruto simply from the heavy, clumsy way the footsteps fall. Then, abruptly, Naruto stops a bit past him, his attention apparently being drawn over to Sasuke, and Sasuke's face furrows into a frown as he makes up his mind as to whether to pay attention to him.

He's annoyed – of course, it isn't as if the dock isn't a public place. However, people rarely come by it, and Sasuke can't help but feel as if it's his. After all, it's where he first learned his fire jutsu in a week and showed it to his father. It's where he was first complimented by his dad, where he first really achieved something, where he – Sasuke quickly breaks off that train of thought, turning his head just the slightest bit towards Naruto instead.

When they make eye contact, Sasuke finds Naruto staring down at him with the softest expression he's seen in a long, long time.

Naruto flinches back like a child caught misbehaving, his face flushing slightly. Then, surprise becomes a glare and he turns away obstinately, sticking his nose in the air. Sasuke's eyes narrow sharply, and he copies the other boy, staring at a spot in the water instead, because, well, what the fuck was that. _Stupid brat._

He still watches Naruto out of the corner of his eye, though, because he can't help it. So he knows when Naruto tilts his head back – thinking he's not watching, maybe, but probably just not caring anymore, since he waits for Sasuke's reaction after – and gives him a little grin.

Sasuke tries to do something – tries to break eye contact or at least give Naruto the same look he inadvertently did in the sparring match. But instead, he simply sits there, not moving, a foreign yet somehow familiar feeling coursing through his chest.

His face is stiff, somehow, and he realizes that for the first time since the massacre, for the first time in months, he's smiling.

* * *

They whisper behind his back – _entire family killed in a night by his brother, can you imagine, last Uchiha in Konoha, genius of a genius clan _– and Naruto hears. He _has_ to have heard, because Sasuke feels his eyes on his back moments after. He grits his teeth.

_So you now just realized? What a moron._

This time, he wonders what kind of expression Naruto has on.

This time, he doesn't turn around to meet Naruto's eyes.

* * *

Naruto becomes horribly obnoxious after that.

It starts immediately the next day. As Sasuke walks into the classroom, ridiculously early as usual and expecting to be the first person in the room, Naruto – the only other kid there – jumps in front of him, getting in his face, and yells, "Bastard! We're rivals from now on, and I'm gonna beat your ass someday!"

Sasuke blinks once, very slowly. "What," he finally says, his voice as icy as he can make it.

Naruto narrows his eyes. "Yeah, you heard me."

"Rivals? You must be kidding me, loser."

Naruto just shakes his head. "I'm not. I'll beat you."

And Sasuke sneers at him, surprising himself. "We're different. You'd never even come close to beating me. Get out of my face."

Rival? _Him?_

The thought is ridiculous, and not just because Naruto has no hope of catching up to him. But Naruto is perfectly serious. "Don't make fun of me! I – I'm not gonna let you –" He falters a little, and Sasuke cuts him off.

"I'll make fun of you as long as I like, drop-out. Get out of the Academy. Like I said, you don't belong here – stop trying to be a ninja." _So stupid, so childish, I shouldn't be humoring him, I shouldn't even be paying attention_, and it's true. He shouldn't care, he really shouldn't. But…

All of it is amusing, somehow.

Naruto sticks his tongue out at Sasuke and thrusts a middle finger into Sasuke's face. Sasuke doesn't flinch. "You'll stop saying that when I become a better ninja than you! No, actually – I'm not gonna do just that! I'm – I'm gonna become the Hokage of the entire village, and then you'll have to respect me, along with everyone else!" And before Sasuke can respond, he pounces.

By the time the teachers catch wind of the news and rush to break up the fight, Naruto has a nasty-looking black eye, a split lip, and bruises all over his body. Sasuke, to his surprise, ends up with a few long, bleeding gashes along his arms – _damn, his nails are sharp _– and as they're being dragged off to see the nurses, he hisses into Naruto's ear, "Didn't beat me this time, did you, moron? Hokage? You really think you can do that? Keep dreaming."

Naruto's subsequent punch is just barely intercepted by Iruka, who's one of the teachers leading them through the halls, and as Naruto gets another furious scolding, Sasuke thinks, yeah, why not, they're rivals.

* * *

There is only supposed to be one person in his world anymore, and it isn't the one with bright blue eyes. That's what he tells himself, anyway. But Naruto yells and taunts and provokes fights, and, well, he's _distracting_. Which is stupid – ninja aren't supposed to be loud and vibrant like Naruto is – but it gives Sasuke more insults against him, then maybe it's fine, at least for now. It's not going to last, anyway, only until they graduate from the Academy, become ninja, and go their separate ways at most, so he lets himself retort and taunt back, lets himself be provoked.

Besides, Naruto is like him – sort of, almost – and although Sasuke would never admit it out loud, he's wanted someone like that.

So, before Sasuke even realizes it, he's starting to let another person into his world.

* * *

One day, Iruka gets sick, and they have a substitute.

She's young and pretty, but her eyes are piercing and cold. She introduces herself as Mikoto-sensei, and Sasuke nearly falls out of his seat because – that's not right, that was his mom's name, she's not allowed to do that, his mom's eyes weren't like hers –

"I want to be like your mother for today," she says to the class, looking directly at Sasuke, her voice warm and oh-so-fake, and he just barely manages to keep from running out of the classroom.

He swallows hard, instead, trying to focus on the world around him instead of the memory of his mother's gaze. _Fuck, fuck, fuck._

"Anyway," the teacher says, "since Iruka-sensei is unable to teach his lesson today, I will be assigning you all a partner project, due by the end of class. A decorative, informative scroll on… the tailed beasts." Her eyes flicker to Naruto, whose head is on the table. "Uzumaki Naruto!" she snaps sharply, her eyes growing even harder. "Sit up while I'm speaking!"

Naruto blinks. "Hmm? Ah, right, sensei." He grins widely at her. "What're we doin' again?"

"I was saying," she replies rather stiffly, "that I'm going to assign a partner project due by the end of class on the tailed beasts. The powerful, evil demons that wars have been fought over. I suppose you'd know a lot about them… Uzumaki?"

"Eh?" He shrugs. "Not really, I just know they're big and powerful. One of them destroyed part of Konoha a while back, but the Fourth Hokage died killing it, or something."

Her eyes narrow. "If that's all you know, then pay attention." With that, she picks up the roll call list. "Now, I'll announce partners, assign you a random tailed beast, and give each pair the same book on the subject. Your task is to make the most creative and informative poster possible. I presume everyone should have a scroll with them." Sasuke rolls his eyes. _Creative posters? Are we in kindergarten? _She begins reading down the list. "The first group… Aburame Shino and Akimichi Chouji, Rokubi…"

_Wait._

She continues reading off names, and Sasuke realizes the method she's using. _The beasts are random, but the names are in alphabetical order. That means…_

"… Haruno Sakura and Hyuuga Hinata, Kyuubi…"

Finally, the teacher stops, and although her face furrows slightly, she reads on anyway. "Uchiha Sasuke… and Uzumaki Naruto." Naruto and Sasuke turn to glare at each other at the same time. The teacher looks up, straight at Naruto, and says icily, "You two will do a report on Kyuubi."

"I don't wanna work with Sasuke," Naruto complains. "He's a jerk. I bet he can't work properly with anyone at all."

Sasuke snorts. "You think I want to work with _you_? You're such a moron that you'd just fuck up the whole thing. Keep quiet and let me do everything, and maybe I won't have to deal with you."

"See? Sensei, you gotta let me change partners –"

"No. Continuing on…" She goes through the rest of the names, and passes out the books to each pair of students. Naruto grabs it from Sasuke, grinning childishly, and Sasuke rolls his eyes. "Now, take out a scroll and begin. I'll be out for a bit." She exits the classroom, and predictably, chatter rises up.

Sasuke sighs. "Do you have a scroll?"

"Nope. Guess you'll have to do everything while I keep quiet, so you don't have to deal with me." Naruto sticks his tongue out at Sasuke, who just sighs and removes his last scroll from his backpack. _I'll have to go buy more later._ "Anyway, since the teacher's out and I don't have to do anything, I'm gonna get out of here and destroy some shit. Maybe play a prank on the sub, or paint the Academy again. Cover for me, will you?"

"Oh, shut up and get to work," Sasuke snaps. "Find me the section on Kyuubi and read what's there."

"Hey! How come you don't have to do any research?"

"I'm summarizing what you tell me, writing it down, and decorating. If I leave it to you, you'll probably get ink everywhere."

Naruto flips through the book, ignoring Sasuke's comment for once. "This is boring," he finally mutters, after about five minutes of reading.

Sasuke lets out a frustrated sigh. "Just read it to me."

"No, really. The book she gave us, it's so shitty. It's just about what the Kyuubi did in wars and where it appeared, and what people did to get it, up until it got killed in the attack on Konoha, but when it's about how the Kyuubi was born in the first place or what it acts like or anything _interesting_ it's all 'nobody knows' and 'we have yet to find out', or they just don't –"

"The tailed beasts are still a source of mystery after all these years, partly because none of the villages will share their information. Even if they did, that information wouldn't be accessible to civilians or Academy students like us. The tailed beasts are _important_, even now – that's why there isn't a lot of information. The point of the project is to make do with what we're _given_. That's why she gave us all the same book, instead of telling us to do our own research."

"Or it's just 'cause it was less trouble to give us the same thing," Naruto mutters. "If there's no information, why are we doing it about the tailed beasts in the first place? I don't wanna do this project. I don't like her."

"Read me what's there, I said. That's all you have to do. Just because you don't like the teacher –"

"You don't like her either, do you? You _agree_."

"No, I don't. Stop assuming whatever you want."

Naruto glares at Sasuke. "Nah, I can tell. You get a really stupid expression when you're annoyed. You had it on the whole time." He shrugs. "I guess she's pretty, though, even if I don't like her. And her name is nice."

Sasuke flinches. "What?"

"Her name. Mikoto. It's pretty."

_– __Mikoto, smiling at him over the table at breakfast – bowed down on the ground, helpless, before Itachi raises his sword and stabs it through her chest, and her body falls, gushing blood –_

Sasuke breathes in deeply, trying not to scream. His eyes slide away from Naruto's. "Whatever." _Fuck you fuck you fuck –_

"Yeah, you probably don't think anything's pretty," Naruto mutters. He seems to be talking to himself more than Sasuke now – not that Sasuke minds. "I did think I'd like her, though, because she said she'd try to be like our mom or something. I thought that'd be really nice, but I guess it was just some –"

And before Sasuke even realizes what he's doing, he's grabbed Naruto's jacket collar, shoving him against the table. The scroll and ink well are pushed to the ground, and they fall with a clang; the previously blank paper is now splattered with ink, but Sasuke couldn't care less.

Naruto yelps. "What the hell, Sasuke-teme? What are you doing?"

"Shut up," he hisses, furious. "You thought it'd be _nice_? Nice that – that –" He clenches his fists, unable to speak the words –

"What is going on here?"

The teacher has appeared at the door, and she stares at the scene in disbelief. "Is there a problem?"

_Obviously. _Sasuke lets go of Naruto's collar and turns to face her. Naruto pipes up. "It was Sasuke's fault." Sasuke stays silent.

"Well," she says finally. "Since you two seem unable to work with each other, I suppose we'll have to switch out partners."

"See, sensei, I told –"

"Quiet," she snaps, and Naruto falls silent. "Now, you two were working on Kyuubi, weren't you? Even if your scroll is ruined" – she casts a glance down at the ink-soaked parchment on the floor – "I'm sure it would be easier to work on the same topic than switch completely." Her eyes fall on the two girls sitting directly in front of them. "Haruno and Hyuuga, weren't you also doing Kyuubi as well?"

"Yes," Sakura mumbles after a moment of silence. "We were."

The teacher purses her lips. "Hyuuga. Would you be willing to start the project over with Uchiha, and switch with Uzumaki here?"

"A-ah –" Hinata stammers. "Yes, sensei. Of course."

"Get going, then. I'll be staying here from now on."

Hinata gets up slowly – Sasuke notes that she's almost as clumsy as Naruto, despite being the heiress of the Hyuuga – and makes her way into the aisle. Naruto steps aside to let her pass, giving her a sheepish grin, and she blushes fiercely at him as she walks by to stand next to Sasuke's table. Meanwhile, Naruto sits down next to Sakura.

"You can write the first portion, and I'll do the second," Sasuke tells Hinata. "I was going to have Naruto read it to me while I summarized the information, so he'd have something to do, but I think it would be faster this way."

Hinata hesitates, then takes a seat and removes a fresh scroll from her pocket, spreading it over the table. "Do you want to decorate?" Her voice is soft and shy, and she almost sounds scared to speak, but her face is no longer flushed and there's a kind of relief showing in her pale eyes. At least there's one girl in the class who doesn't have a crush on him… even if she has a crush on Uzumaki Naruto of all people instead.

"That's okay," he replies flatly. "You can do it."

"O-oh…" She shrinks back. "Alright." As Hinata works, Sasuke slowly begins to space out – he doesn't really care that much about the project anymore – and inevitably finds himself listening to Naruto and Sakura's conversation. It's not that hard to hear what they're saying; they're sitting right in front of him, and not exactly speaking in hushed tones.

"Hey, Sakura… do you like Sasuke? You're always cheering for him and stuff, and trying to talk to him, and remember when you yelled at me that time, a while back?"

Well, he supposes that is the sort of conversation that a girl who likes him and his self-proclaimed rival would have. He still can't help being a little annoyed, though.

Sakura stares at him, blushing and affronted. "You – you should know the answer to that. I'd rather have worked on this project with Sasuke-kun than you, anyway, even if it meant starting over. We're already done, now, and you didn't do _anything_."

"Well, yeah, 'cause you were almost done when I came! Besides, you're way better at it than me."

She blinks, looking a bit mollified. "Thanks… I guess." Then, she rolls her eyes. "Though that's not much of a compliment," she murmurs to herself, but Naruto ignores it.

"So, so! Why does everyone like Sasuke so much?" Naruto asks eagerly. "I mean, he's a prick, isn't he?"

Sakura sighs, evidently deciding to humor him. "Well, I suppose you wouldn't understand, since you're a boy. But, I mean… isn't he handsome? And he acts so cool all the time – strong and silent, and he's the best ninja in our class, to boot. What's not to like?"

Naruto scowls. "Like I said. He's a prick! I'm way more handsome than he is. And he's not silent, don't you see how he insults me all the time? He talks a lot, with me at least. Besides" – he leans in, as if sharing a secret, and Sakura frowns – "I'm gonna beat him one day, just you wait. He doesn't acknowledge me now, but once I beat his ass –"

"Only you won't," she replies indignantly, childishly riled up for his sake. "Sasuke-kun is the best. And, well… he only insults you because you're… _you_. I mean, that's normal, isn't it? You're the opposite of him. He's right."

Sasuke almost expects Naruto to get angry and snap at her, like he does with him, but instead, Naruto grins broadly, looking almost pleased – even entertained, in a strange way. "I'm still gonna be way better than him, someday. Just you wait."

"No, you won't."

"Yes, I will." He leans forward even more, so close he's nearly breathing into Sakura's face, and she scoots away, almost panicked.

"Don't get so close!"

"Okay." He moves back, but doesn't take his eyes away from her. "Sakura, if Sasuke liked you… you'd be happy, right?"

"Of course!"

He pauses, cocking his head to the side curiously. "Then… what if I liked you?"

"What?" Sakura glares. "No. I'd only want Sasuke-kun to like me. Besides, why would you like me?"

"Um… well, you said why you like him, right? I think you're pretty. And you're a really good student too, yeah? Sasuke's the best ninja in the class but I'm still gonna beat him. But I bet you're smarter than him, 'cause the poster's really good and it was done really fast, even if Hinata did part of it too. I won't beat you in that. And…" Naruto falters, contemplating and looking genuinely puzzled. Sasuke can practically see the cogs turning slowly in his brain. "You're not cool like you said Sasuke was, but I think he's a prick for that. That's not cool. I'm way cooler, and I'm not like that, so it's good that you're not either. And… well, you're… when you talk about him… I mean… and…" His eyes slide awkwardly away for a moment, but then he looks back up and beams at her, his face a bit flushed. "I dunno, but anyway, it makes sense, I think, so if I liked you, would you be happy?"

Sakura shakes her head, still glaring at him. "Stop joking around. Even if you liked me, I wouldn't be happy, because I don't like _you_. I only like Sasuke-kun, and – and I think you're a brat, just like he does." She pauses, and then nods once, as if it all makes sense. "Right, yeah, he hates you, doesn't he? Because you're always getting in his face. That's why he insults you and stuff. So actually, I wouldn't be happy if you liked me. He'd probably hate me too, and then you'd just get in my way. Besides, my parents said I should probably stay away from you. I can see why, you're a troublemaker. I don't want to speak with you anymore. So… stop talking to me, will you?"

_They might actually make a good match_, Sasuke thinks, scowling, before he can stop himself. They're both so naïve and earnest and utterly transparent, in their own ways, and so, so stupid it makes him sick. He wants to stop listening – this kind of talk is annoying in general – but he doesn't really have a choice anymore, unless he plugs his ears.

"Aw, Sakura," Naruto whines. "Why not? I bet I can make you like me, and not him. I like you, I think, so it's fine –"

"No! I told you, stop it!" Sakura snaps. But Naruto's eyes are gleaming now with the same look he has whenever he's about to play a prank, or whenever he's about to challenge Sasuke to yet another fight…

* * *

So it's not entirely unexpected when Naruto shows up the next day with a huge bouquet of pink roses from the Yamanaka Flower Shop and a book of sappy love poems and thrusts them in Sakura's horrified face, in front of the entire class, calling her "Sakura-chan" despite her protests and vowing to win her love. Nor is it entirely unexpected when it _lasts_, far more than one day. And, of course, as everyone except Naruto knew it would, it completely backfires. Yamanaka Ino, Sakura's former best friend – apparently they broke it off because they both liked Sasuke, even though it should have been obvious before – seems to take a particular delight in Sakura's mortification, going so far as to give Naruto the flowers for free until Sakura begins smashing them to a pulp.

It's annoying as hell to Sasuke, though, especially when Sakura redoubles her efforts to get closer to Sasuke, partly in order to shake Naruto off – the previously _somewhat_ quiet Sakura even gets into a huge fight with Ino over who gets to talk to him first at one point, in front of the entire class, and they're so loud and screeching he almost wants to jump up to strangle them. Her attitude towards Naruto grows from a mild annoyance, which had shown the day of the project, to genuine hostility; she yells at him and insults him as brutally as Sasuke does, and he almost expects Naruto to start crying at some point – but he _doesn't_, and he persists as enthusiastically as he did before.

One day, she punches him in the head, hard. She looks stunned at herself for a second, but Naruto just whines, "You're so mean, Sakura-chan," and she punches him again for using the honorific. The physical violence becomes almost as common as with Sasuke and Naruto, after that, except Naruto doesn't fight back. Meanwhile, Sasuke and Naruto's relationship doesn't change much, but Naruto blames Sasuke for Sakura's crush now and Sasuke glares at him for it because _he's_ not the one who started the love triangle.

And thus, before Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke even get out of the Academy, the infamous Team Seven dynamics are born.

* * *

**Eh, I tried.**

**So, yeah. As you've seen, the "Academy days" section is mostly fanon, because there isn't much written for it and I wanted to add more – SN wank (the entire first portion) is always good. For the second part, canon doesn't bother to explain much about how Team Seven got this way, with an established dynamic long before they became a team, especially considering Kishimoto's penchant for flashbacks (most of the ones involving Sakura are with Ino). However, the rest of the story will actually have canon material from Part 1, I promise. Especially the next chapter. :3 (Watch out for the rather… distinctive… I-am-fanfic bombs, though. I'm not Kishi.) **

**Please… review? (Yes, more useless closing sentences. Do what you want. Unless your initials and current age (which will soon change) represent a movie rating and I know you personally. Then you don't have an option.)**


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